Homework, and Cooking, and School Oh My!!

I know it's been awhile guys and I will try and do my best to keep everyone updated better. Good news though, we have hit the 3 month mark and we haven't killed each other or filed for divorce. Success!! I'm not going to lie though, these past few months have been a challenge. I always laughed at people when they said marriage is hard and you constantly need to try. Well, they were right! This has been a huge adjustment for Stewart and I. We have both lived on our own for awhile (especially him, being old and all) and we were set in our own ways. I thought after dating for 4 years, that I knew just about everything. Wrong! I thought after the first month of marriage I found out everything. Wrong! We are over 3 months into the marriage and I'm still finding out weird things about my husband. For example, when he gets dressed for work he puts his pants on, zips, buttons, and buckles the belt all before putting his shirt on. He then proceeds to unbuckle, unbutton, and unzip to tuck his shirt in. Who does that?! That's a lot of extra effort!!! Just put the pants on leave them unbuttoned and put your shirt on! I could probably save him 5 minutes every morning if he would just listen to me! But of course he doesn't. So instead, he wastes those precious minutes every morning. Each day holds an interesting moment when we look at each other and think "I never knew that about him/her, I wonder how I could change it". At least that's what I think.

I'm also struggling to keep up with household chores, do homework, try not to skip class, and have dinner ready. You would think it wouldn't be so hard, but it is. I put in a lot of time in school (cause I'm still trying to graduate) and by the time I get home, I do not want to cook dinner. Cooking dinner is a waste of time and energy that could be used somewhere else. Like sitting on the couch and watching TV. Yes, sometimes I don't cook because I don't have the energy and I just want to sit down. Don't judge me! I don't know how people do it and have kids and everything else. I can barely handle school and being a wife! I am getting better, but I do feel bad when my husband comes up to me, looks in the kitchen, and says "I guess we are eating out again". And other days when he says this, I want to slap him upside the head. I do have to admit that he's pretty amazing and helps me as much as his small male brain will allow him to do. He folds the laundry and puts it away. He takes the trash out (sometimes). He washes the dishes I cook (over several days). And he helps with the dogs (everyday). But mainly he's super supportive and has become very patient when I say "let's eat out" or "you may or may not have clothes to wear tomorrow". And generally, my "may or may not" is for sure may not.

I have had to grow up a lot this last couple of months. I have had to back down on several fights, because I was wrong (but really I wasn't). I have had to cry to get all my frustrations out. I have had to call my mom for advice. I have had to admit that I'm married to the most stubborn man on earth. But every night I go to bed beside him and think how lucky I am to have married him. I am so thankful for the multiple "I love you"s that I get. He is my better half and he's my best friend. More then anything he's driving my crazy. But I do love him.

Never EVER Workout Together

Some couples find it very relaxing and very exciting to workout together. Well, that's not the case in my marriage. My husband is the most annoying person to workout with. He thinks he knows everything; even though I'm the Kinesiology major. I mean seriously, I'm studying this stuff, and he's going to ignore me?! Ridiculous. He tries to tell me that it's because we are working out different parts. Umm, hello, there are other exercises besides squats. Sorry, I'm just trying to provide him with a wider variety of exercises. You don't see me trying to tell him how to play the trumpet. That's his job, of course he knows what he's doing. Or at least I hope he does. You never know.

Also, I have had several trainers and been to several bootcamps. I know what I'm talking about! I have teachers that I can use as resources, textbooks on hand, and workout plans that I have used. Take my advice, I have been doing this a lot longer then he has. I've actually played sports, he was in marching band. Really, who do you think knows more?!

So not only do we not do good working out together, he always exercises at inconvenient times. Tonight for example, right before I want to start cooking. Do I look like I'm one of those kinds of wives that would have dinner waiting for him for when he gets home. I don't think so! Why workout knowing that I'm hungry and I want to start cooking. Now, he will tell you it's because I won't let him workout. Well that's bull. We have an elliptical and several other pieces of workout equipment and yet he prefers to go to the gym. I'm sorry that I want him to use the things that we have at home. Use the things that we have available and that are FREE!!

Sorry for the short rant, but somethings need to be said. On a better note, I have lost 5 pounds since walking down the aisle, and I feel amazing. Looks, like marriage is for me. : )

My Husband the Writer

My husband is a man of many talents. He won't admit to any of these but he's an incredible musician, great teacher, very artistic, and he's very good at building things. His latest venture is writing. And I have to say it's become the most annoying. Now, I will support my husband till the end of time. I always have. But sometimes I just want to tell the man to stick to one hobby and perfect it. What's wrong with having one hobby that you are absolutely great at?! Then you can say you're the best at it. It doesn't make any sense to me!! So he writes, and I have to put up with it. It's very boring to just sit around and listen to him type and mumble. Yes, he mumbles. It's very annoying and drives me insane. And god forbid you interrupt him when "he's on a roll". Trust me, bad idea. Not only could you possibly lose your life, he will bring you back just to kill you again. How am I suppose to get anything done in this kind of stressful environment?!

So he came to me a couple of years ago and told me he was going to write something. I was of course very excited and supportive of him. Well a year goes by and nothing finished. Ok, sometimes these things take time. Another year goes by and nothing. Really?! Two years, and the man hasn't produced a single finished piece of writing?! I've heard of writers taking a long time to write but come on, this thing isn't even a 100 pages.

So finally, a couple of months ago he comes to me with a finished novella and I have to admit it's amazing. I didn't realize just how talented he was. Yes, he needs some good editing and some more experience. But the man has some talent. He finally self published it as an e book. He has had some sells but not what he was hoping for. I have no idea what he was expecting. No one becomes successful over night.

Look guys, I'm trying to be the supportive wife here, but the man is driving me insane. So could you guys do me a favor and buy the dang book. It's only 99 cents. You don't even have to read it! Just buy it and delete it (that's what I did). Just kidding. Support us here. I'm trying to get him famous so I can be the trophy wife I deserve to be.

Offerings by Stewart Felkel. You can find it on amazon, barnes and noble, itunes, and smashwords. Please for the love of all goodness buy the book!!

Husband Tells All!!

I love my wife dearly, but as the Baptist say, bless her heart. I have never met another woman quite like her. She has been asking me to do a guest post about how things look from my perspective. The only restrictions were that I have to keep it brief and be funny. If you have ever met me, or read my blog, you know that my sense of humor is very much an acquired taste. Furthermore as all of my students will tell you, I talk. A lot. The word verbose is used about me often. I’ll try to stay on topic though. Today, rather than write a serious dissertation on what it’s like to be a newly married groom I thought that I would humor you with random facts about my wife. If you have ever met her then these will be very familiar to you. Audience members, please feel free to add your own in the comment section.

Random Fact 1- I can always find where my wife is in the house by following the trail of shoes. Now, when she moved in I obviously rearranged the closet to accommodate her clothing. While doing so I gave up some nice shelf space to her shoe collection. Gentleman in the audience, every joke about women and shoes is 100% true. That’s why they’re funny. Now, this substantial, well semi substantial, shelf space is only used to house the shoes that aren’t really made to be worn. Most are apparently made to look cute while inflicting maximum pain on a woman’s tender feet. The shoes that my wife wears regularly tend to be found in odd place. Under the couch, the bed, beside the dining room table, the doorways, even in the kitchen. The inevitable question when we are about to leave is “Stewart, where are my shoes?”

Random Fact 2- My wife tends to spread out. When we first got engaged I lived in a small one bed one bath house. A house that I built with me on two hands I might add. With a little help from my friends. Now, it was a regular question in Casa de Felkel as to how we were going to house myself, a wife, and two rambunctious dogs. We especially questioned our bathroom situation. Fast forward a year and we are in a new home with vastly more space and a master bath that has his and hers sinks. Fantastic! The other day I went to brush my teeth only to find my lovely wife doing the same. At my sink. Why my sink? Because hers was full of clothes. Clothes! Who drapes clothes in their sink? Not only has my sink been commandeered, but the plugs on my side are being used to power straighteners, hair  driers, and other instruments that look like they could be used to interrogate terrorists. She told me the other day that we need more space.

Random Fact 3- My wife is cool, calm, and collected in a crisis situation. Provided the crisis is overly large and/or not about her. That’s right, large scale, end of the world, zombie apocalypse style crisis don’t bother her at all. Once upon a time she was caught in a hit and run accident. The story is actually very amusing, but I’ll let my wife tell it to you one day herself. I was following a ways back in my own vehicle when I found her wrecked car parked and her calmly calling the police, her parents, insurance agents, the works. No sweat. Never mind that she almost died ten minutes earlier. Small scale crisis are a different matter entirely. Today she almost had a panic attack because she convinced herself that she wouldn’t have enough observation hours to be allowed to student teach. Rather than call her advisor she convinced herself that she wouldn’t be able to graduate for an additional six months. You could say that we have an issue with mountains and molehills.

 Well, that’s all I have time for tonight. If I’m allowed back, a big if, I think I’ll write about how decisions are made in a marriage. Husband’s it will be familiar territory I’m sure.

Danger Danger!!

I love my husband but... (you know it's going to be good when I start it like this)... the man CAN'T drive!!! He is absolutely the most terrible driver I have ever met. I dread driving with him! It's like I'm taking a chance every time I get in the passenger seat. Maybe I should start a will and update it every time I get in the car.

He's a very passive driver. Not defensive at all!! Not only that but he drives like an old man. He'll stare out into space and not pay attention to the fact that he's going 15 under the speed limit. It drives me insane!! Come on, I have places to go and I want to get there timely! Sheesh! And then gets upset when I ask him to speed up! Even when I say please (in his defense that's not very often and it's never really serious)!! Not only that but he drives a standard. I'm not dissing the standard cars, I wish I was better at driving them. But they aren't the best at stopping and going.

Now, I get severely carsick. I mean severely! I can get sick just sitting in the front seat. Needless to say, I usually driver everywhere we go. Which is fine because I love driving. But every once in awhile I make the fatal mistake of letting him (yes, letting him) drive. Whenever we get where we are going I want to kiss the ground. I didn't know you could be a terrible driver without driving fast. He's a terrible driver who drives slow! How does that even happen?! I'm aware that there is such a thing as a cautious driver, but come on! This is taking it to the extreme! Speed up and get a little aggressive. Not so much to ask out of the man!

This will be the first post that I don't let Stewart read. You can probably guess why. This will get me in a lot of trouble, but the world needs to know that if you see him coming get the heck out of the way! Either that, or just wave when you pass him. 

Future of the Felkels

I hope everyone noticed the title of the blog. Yes, my name has been changed and I took his. The new social security card came in and now I'm just waiting on my debit card. So whoo!! New name!! When you get married people are constantly asking you questions about your future. Such as "when are you having kids", "are you staying here in Louisiana", or "what are your plans for the future". So the post is to answer all those questions!

The biggie, kids. Now for those of you that know me, know I'm not the best kid person. It's like they know I'm a giant kid and we can get in trouble together. It's not that I don't like kids, I love kids. They have tiny clothes and shoes!! What's not to love?? But I love heading them back over the most. We have a lot of nieces, nephews, and friends with kids. I love hanging out and playing with them all. They are all great kids. I'm better with kids now, then 4 years ago. So, after saying all that, Stewart and I at this moment have agreed that we aren't having any kids. Shock, I know. But we are open for discussion after I turn 26. For the time being, we are going to enjoy each other, and enjoy not having to change poopy diapers!! (Jess and Shannon, I'm willing to learn to help you guys out)

I have never wanted to stay in Louisiana. It's hot and humid. And there's shellfish everywhere, and I'd rather not accidentally eat some and die! I love traveling. I have been all over the world and there is so much more to see. So, I'm wanting to move away for a little bit and Stewart has agreed that he could see us living somewhere else for a couple of years. We need a break from here! Don't judge us! We will come back. But I'm thinking Georgia for grad school. I have family there and my parents have an apartment there. I have learned one important thing since being married, and that's that I'm a mama's girl. My mom and I talk/see each other more now then when I was single and living off there dime. I can't live far away from her. It's not good!

I have no idea what the future could hold for us or our marriage. But I do know that we are going to enjoy each other and enjoy the spontaneity of our marriage. Basically, we aren't going to take advantage of the luxuries we have now. Maybe, I can convince Stewart instead of investing in kids to invest in a Summer home in France. Maybe instead of moving away, we will buy a house here and make lots of babies. (Not!) But as of right now, we are poor, have nothing but each other, and looking forward to our future.

To Take His Name... Or Not

So we're married. It's time to decide the name. Yes, I have been debating the name change. I mean is it really necessary?? I've grown quite fond of my name and people can even pronounce/spell it correctly. I even like my middle name. Rayne. It's unique and fun and goes with Hannah very well. I even think my initials go together smoothly. HRD. You can say it 5 times super fast and never get your tongue twisted. It's perfect!! (I know you just said my initials 5 times, it's ok). 

So what should I do? Take his name or keep mine the same. Let's talk about it. I tried to convince him to take my name, but that didn't go very well. As a matter of fact he just walked away and refused to discuss it. I mean how rude is that. At least consider it! If I take his name no one will ever be able to pronounce it. No one knows how to spell it. This just seems like a lot of trouble to go through for the rest of my life. Is it really worth it? Now, for all of Stewart's family, I'm not dissing the last name. You all know what a challenge it is. Can you guys really blame me for having some doubts?! 

If I leave it as is, it would probably hurt Stewart's feelings a little bit. (I guess I'll take that into some consideration) It would most certainly cause some drama throughout the family. And it's not very traditional. I don't take that last one too seriously, because we aren't really a traditional couple. We didn't even do a unity candle at the ceremony. Thank goodness. If I leave it the way it is now, which is perfect, then I won't have to change anything. All my bank stuff, school, and drivers license can all stay the same. I won't have to go through the hassle of changing anything. 

Stewart's suggestion was to change my facebook and start saying it more. Well, it's almost been 2 weeks and every time I hear Mrs. Felkel, I somewhat cringe. I don't know if it's because it makes me feel old, it's so proper, or because it's not my name! I don't even let my nephews call me "Aunt". I hate it! It's so old fashioned. It makes me want to grind my teeth. Yes, I know it shows respect, but they can show me respect in different ways. So, maybe it is just the "Mrs" part. I don't know; but I don't like it! 

So guys, what should I do. Should I go ahead and change my name and every time someone pronounces it wrong or spells it weird make Stewart buy me something. : ) Or do I stick with what's worked my whole life? It's a tough decision. On one hand I'll be showered in gifts, but on the other there won't be any hassles. To take his name, or to not take his name. That is the question.

Death by Laundry

Back story on my laundry past. I like to sort all the clothing. Whites, colors, towels, things with zippers, dress clothes, and delicates. Yes it takes longer but there is no destroying of clothes. For those that don't know me I like clothes from different local boutiques, and stores like J Crew and Banana Republic. In guy terms: the clothes are somewhat thin and they need to be washed with love and care. I have lived away from home since I was 18 so I have been washing my own clothes for awhile. Meaning I have my own way of doing it, so don't mess with it.

Stewart's back story of laundry. Throw all the clothes, towels, and sheets into a large of load as possible. I kid you not. No sorting the clothes at all. No washing dress clothes on delicates. After the clothes are washed, they may or may not be folded. And if there was by chance a miracle that day and they were folded, they most likely were never put away. Piles of clean laundry would be all over the place. His favorite spot: the coffee table. The few times I made the mistake of letting him wash laundry without my supervision my clothes would come back a size smaller, have holes in them (from the zippers of his slacks), or the socks not matching at all. I can't begin to tell everyone how many shirts I have thrown away from holes being in them. Ugh. Very frustrating.

So it was our first laundry day as a married couple. Why you ask has it taken us so long, well I knew it was going to be a huge job, so I waited till the husband had a day off. (Like I would do it by myself) Luckily we have learned the best system for us is for me to sort, wash, and make sure the clothes get in the dryer. He is responsible for folding and putting things away. Problem with this is that these two responsibilities are not his strong suits. What else can I do?! Take the chance of him ruining more of our clothes?? I think not! Another problem, he hates with a passion, matching socks. It's like pulling teeth to get him to take his time and match all of them. 

Now these blogs are not meant to put down my husband. The complete opposite in fact. I am telling the world how he is improving by following my lead. What better way to learn? I'm not saying that I'm better then him. I'm just saying I'm better at laundry. (And probably a lot more things).

P.S. I got him some nose strips for the snoring. Last night, he was not kicked out of the bedroom. Improvement! 

Sleepless in Louisiana

First off, I must say that I have some unusual sleeping habits. I sleep with a sleep mask every night. I got in the habit when I went to visit my dad and I haven't stopped. Not only do I like a sleep mask, I only sleep with the same kind of sleep mask. So I try to stock up as much as possible. I also have to have a fan on when I sleep. I blame my mother for this because she listens to one every night and has cursed to listening to one as well. Why is it a curse you ask? Think about it, when you go out of town most hotels do not have ceiling fans. (I prefer a plug in fan beside my bed, but a ceiling fan works in desperate times) Also, it's a pain in the butt to travel with a fan. Yes, I have tried, my need for a fan at night is that severe. Saying all this, poor Stewart has grown used to these things over the years. We bought a fan for me a couple of years ago and he always kept an eye mask around. Thank goodness.

There's no polite way in saying this, but my husband snores. And not only does he snore, you can hear it throughout the house. Now that we are married, there is no catching up on sleep after a weekend stay. There are no naps at my own house Monday afternoon. There's just a very loud man snoring beside me. Now, people have told me that I will get use to it over time. Guess what, that's not going to happen, because he drowns out the noise of my fan! The one noise that I have to have!! About a year ago I tried earplugs and once again I couldn't hear the sound of the fan.

You're asking yourselves now what my solution was. I'll tell you. The man is sleeping in the guest room. Yes, that's correct I am kicking my husband out in the middle of the night to sleep somewhere else. Why does he have to sleep somewhere else? Because it's easier for him to move his alarm clock then for me to move the fan, my cell phone, etc. Excuses, I know. But I have married a man that is kind enough to move to the other bedroom.

Yes, I do feel bad about kicking him out, but I need sleep too. I do like sleeping beside him, but I am not a morning person, let alone a morning person that tossed and turned for the past 4 days. Let's just say that sleeping on the honeymoon was miserable, because there was no kicking him out. There was just me sleeping with a pillow over my head, glaring out the alarm clock hoping to goodness that it was closer to morning then it was.

Lesson kids, find out if the man you are marrying snores. Next thing to find out, is if he minds sleeping somewhere else. That is going to be key in your survival to marriage. Because let's face it if mama ain't getting sleep, she sure ain't happy.

Big Spending

We made two major buys yesterday: groceries and a dyson vacuum cleaner.

Groceries are a necessity in life obviously. But who knew that it would be so expensive buying for 2 people. Yes, Stewart and I have bought groceries before but not when I was living here full time. I plan on cooking a lot, so we bought lots of different things for me to cook. Lots of chicken, of course, since that's my favorite thing to cook and his favorite thing to eat. Stewart also didn't have a lot of the everyday stuff. Like lunchmeat, snacks, condiments, etc. So this was a huge buy on our part. But it will be worth it. After seeing how much it costs, I will for sure be cooking as to not waste anything.

We needed a good vacuum cleaner. We have two dogs who shed a lot and then there is me. Some of you may not know this but I shed a lot. It's almost concerning how much I shed, but it's just because I have really thick hair. Bottom line, we needed a great vacuum cleaner. We had lots of gift cards to Target, so I of course researched before we went and found one that I wanted. But it was a major discussion between Stewart and I because that would be the end of the gift cards. After it was bought, I immediately regretted it. We could have used that money on so much more stuff. Like groceries, movies, dog stuff, the list is endless. But as soon as we got home I just vacuumed a small strip of our carpet and I was amazed. The hair was crazy and it was completely clean. I love it!! I was also reading the box and this is a good asthma and allergy vacuum cleaner. We also have friends that have kids and lots of nieces and nephews, and I was always worried that the dog hair would affect them. But not anymore! Wonderful buy on our part. No regrets.

Now, that I'm married I know I'm going to have to watch my spending. And just these two major items sent me into a shock. But this is the price we pay to marry young. And once again, I have no regrets. Now I'm off to cook!

The Beginning

Most people know how Stewart and I met; but for those of you who don't try to save your laughter. Stewart was my Senior band teacher in high school. No, we didn't see each other when I was his student. But yes, I did have a major crush on him. I came back a couple of months after graduation to help him with band camp, and as the saying goes, the rest is history. We dated for 3 years, and then he proposed to me.

We were married on June 18th, and flew out the next day for our honeymoon. We had a blast. A little home sick but we had a lot of fun. The wedding itself was amazing. The planning portion of it was crazy. And days before the wedding I was a disaster. Needless to say, it was a stressful process, that I don't regret. It was an amazing wedding. We are truly blessed with friends and family.

This blog is for everyone to read about our lives and how we make it through both the newlywed bliss and struggles. This is an amazing adventure that we are on and we want to share it with everyone. Stay tuned for the next update.